have both of you read the infrared troubleshooting tips in suite web pages (this is from the PC Suite help

When connecting via infrared, the preferable distance between the two devices is one metre (about three feet) at most.
If your PC cannot detect the phone, check that the PC's infrared port is activated. To find more troubleshooting information on Nokia PC Suite, you can browse the FAQ search database on the PC Suite web pages. To do this, go to the Nokia PC Suite main window and click Web > PC Suite on the web > PC Suite FAQ. Note that this requires an Internet connection.